I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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