There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
