false alarm. still invincible.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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