What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
