I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
