well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
