so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
