I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
