Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
