Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
it glows. i had to have it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
