Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
