I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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