I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
