I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
