your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
