I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
