Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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