maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
