Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
