just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
