Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
