i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
4 words: hood of his car
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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