Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
