I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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