Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
