I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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