you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
