If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Found the puke drawer
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
