Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
