Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize