What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
