Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
