I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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