I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
