That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
