butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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