STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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