in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I love you. Go after that dick
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
