I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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