foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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