Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
