I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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