I think i peed on brittanys purse
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
