I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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