Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
