hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Do vagina's smell?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
