I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
