I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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