What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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