You work out of a Hotel?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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